The Biggest Bitch You’ve Ever Seen

A splendid, huge spa, a masseuse who has innumerable varieties of exotic oils, non-stop re-fills of lime juice and that sweet tonic water – all this part of a big, beautiful resort with plenty umbrellas by the gorgeous pool-side. The pool seems to share a border with the sea. You can feel the proximity of the beach, but you prefer to be away from the mainstream water action right now. Right now, you just want to get that massage, enjoy the sultry sweet lime slowly. You wouldn’t mind cucumbers on your eyes even if you were to be a guy. Because you just want to cool down right now. Calm the burning insides after that amazing fire last night.

You try to get up. But you can’t move your head. You’re semi-conscious - more dazed than on any other morning. You want your mind to either get back to that overwhelming party or to the spa. You begin to crave the spa when it hits you that you cannot remember much of last night. You keep wondering how you managed to get to your bed. That’s when it begins to get either ugly or beautiful.

You tend to have extreme memories. Most things last night have happened exactly as you had wanted them to. However, you screwed up (at least a little), after the point when Daniels jacked you. If you’ve been sloshed-out-your-mind last night, those scenes take a while to form inside your head. You badly need an aspirin.

It feels like something has settled down at the back of your head - like a rather large paperweight has been precisely placed on your neck. The shoulders have almost given way. Eyes blink very slowly. Some times, they don’t blink at all as you keep on staring blankly at the ceiling recalling the course and events of last night.

After what seems like an eternity, you manage to leave your bed, and go straight to the bathroom. Nature’s multiple calls await you there. Another eternity passes in the apparent internal ‘cleansing’ of your body. You need a steaming hot water shower to get rid of that paperweight. You realise all this is only psychological, the moment you walk out of the shower.
The paperweight’s still there. The eyes still blink extremely slowly. You’re thirsty as hell. You can’t stand the sight of food. No amount of water will ever quench your thirst again. You want to escape. But you think you can only sleep it away. Your body begs you to do nothing today, but just lie down (sleep preferably) all day.
This is the biggest bitch you’ve ever seen – The Hangover.